One time that sex should be avoided



There are just a dozen of reasons why people feel they just want to get between the sheets with their partners like you are both home early or there a few new positions you have learnt from the internet and you are dying to try them out with your partner but there is one reason that you should never consider; never agree to have sex with your partner just to avoid disappointing them because it will just leave you unsatisfied with the act and in your relationship. Instead do it to improve intimacy. This is according to a number of studies published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin online.

 

In two of the studies couples were asked to fill out their reasons for having sex and the outcome of it in nightly diaries. It was found that those who had sex for various reasons like to improve their intimacy, to get pleasure and feel closer to their partners were fully satisfied with the sex and the relationship.

 

Those who had sex for reasons like avoiding conflict and arguments with their partners and avoiding disappointing their partners were less satisfied in everything.

“The most interesting thing about this is that you might not get that great feeling after sex if you are having it in order to avoid disappointing your partner or if you think you are doing it in order to benefit your partner. This is because you are not really into it” says, Amy Muise, a study author, PhD and a post- doctoral fellow at the University of Toronto Mississauga. “In a way the partner can sense this and it can affect their satisfaction also. This does not necessarily mean you should avoid having sex. Muse says that it can boost the satisfaction of a relationship even if it’s temporarily just having sex for any reason though much improvement would be seen if it has been motivated by approach goals. However, it can be considered a big problem if you are having avoidance sex frequently. “One day is acceptable but if avoidance is what is motivating you severally, then it will be a problem with time.” Says Muise

In the second study it was observed that people who had sex out of the avoidance goals felt less sexual satisfaction later and less desire is what their partners experienced and felt less committed to the relationship. The good news about all this is that all this can be changed by simply having a different mindset. Muise says that you can change your thinking to make you have sex for approach goals instead of avoidance goals.


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