Divorce is a bitter reality for a vast number of individuals. It can be painstakingly brutal, leaving you feeling hallow and alone. It can rake you over the coals of harsh reality, laying waste to false dreams of love ever-after, leaving you with the cold and bitter reality that romantic love may not have the sort of permanency that fairy-tales had instilled in us some time ago. Good news for you, I think, is that there are some tell-tale signs for when divorce is on the horizon. These signs usually aren’t good, but it is certainly not bad to know what they are so you can prepare yourself for the ominous reality that impends. These signs are usually small, like an untreated cut before an infection, too easy to go unnoticed until too late. But here are some signs to look out for:

1.       Little words, little love.

If you are not communicating for fear that disagreement may arise and arguments ensue, then there has been a critical breakdown somewhere along the way. Healthy communication is crucial for marriages that want to survive.

2.       Depression

Having an off day is one thing, but having a chronic condition is another thing entirely. Feelings of such deeply befuddling dismay can crush an otherwise happy marriage if the two do not work compassionately together towards medically necessary intervention.

3.       Addiction

Putting a deeply engrained addiction above the needs of your spouse will inevitably lead down a road of pain and neglect, as one partner feels completely helpless and overshadowed by a desire that is seemingly larger than the love you two were meant to share.

 4.       All Work no Play

Sometimes we need to buckle down and focus on our work to land that next promotion or big bonus. But when work becomes the only thing you have time for then your spouse may slowly drift away as you become less and less a part of his or her life.

5.       Unreasonable expectations

You are not perfect and your spouse is not perfect. The moment you stop expecting mistakes to happen and begin to desire perfection from otherwise imperfect people, you are going to become deeply unsatisfied with the results. You need to remain realistic with your views and expectations of those you love.

6.       Reawaking old flames

If old flames are finding new kindling in your heart, you are probably in danger of drifting further away from your marriage commitments. If you are drifting back to old what-ifs and dreaming of lost loves, try to find out what lead you to these thoughts. Usually these new awakenings are the result of some lost passion between you and your life-partner.

7.       Inequality

If only one partner is benefiting from the relationship, it is very easy to see that the disenfranchised party is sooner or later going to be looking for an out. It is fundamentally important that both parties are invested in the relationship. If at any point one person feels like they are dealing with the lion’s share of the relational burden, a breaking point is inevitable.

8.       No Quality Time

If you only ever spend time together in groups or community environments and that one-on-one time is really a one-on-none, then something may be wrong. Does your partner not excite you? Does the thought of alone time with your spouse have no draw? If this is the case, something big has changed insofar as there was a time when no mountain was high enough to keep you from those lull whispers that lovers make in quite aloneness together.

9.       Unequally yoked

If only one person gives and the other takes, the relationship may experience a breaking point. If the burden of chores and what would otherwise be group tasks is carried by one person in the relationship, something needs to change before divorce seem the only viable option for resolution.

10.   Privacy Problems

If you or your spouse are afraid of what the other might see, perhaps on a cellphone or in an email, then something is not right. If there are secrets that cannot be shared, text messages that cannot be seen, then it is likely that issues of fidelity will soon cause deep and perhaps irreparable relational rifts.

11.   No Passion

Do you just not feel that loving spark anymore? Has kissing lost its passion and has desire faded into oblivion? It may be time to figure out a way to bring fire back to the relationship. A marriage cannot last if there is no desire or passion for it.

 
12.   Infidelity

It goes without saying. If you or your spouse feel the need to cheat, then something has gone terribly wrong in the relationship. What unhappiness lead up to this? Usually, at this point, the last straw has arrived and the marriage will fail. But reparation is not impossible and certainly not unheard of.

13.   Love and Money

You’ll hear it said that money has no place in love. The unfortunate reality is that bills and financial crises can cause huge fissures in otherwise healthy relationships. If you are playing the blame game over financial issues or bickering over household monetary policy, take a step back and revaluate whether or not money should tear a marriage apart.

14.   Trying too hard

This may not sound like a problem, but if one partner is sacrificing everything to make the relationship work, they may, in the end, realize they have nothing left to give and nothing left for his or herself. This can lead to depression, anxiety and ultimately bitterness. These feelings are not conducive to a healthy marriage and should be avoided at all costs.

15.   Losing common ground

If you can no longer remember the things you and your spouse agree about and where your values and interests align, and instead are inundated with all your disagreements, then you are in trouble. It’s time for you to shed the negativity and try to remember what you share and not where you depart.


16.   Where’s the “I” in team?

If you are going through the relationship with nothing but self-interest, eventually you will be doing it all by yourself. Relationships are about a team effort to live together in love, passion and mutual interest. Sometimes that means sacrificing of yourself for the needs of your spouse. If you stop doing this then you do so at your own peril.


Reference: http://www.xmeeting-com.com